What on Earth was I thinking? Inviting everyone's family over for a Christmas/New Years brunch?
All it's done is remind me that I don't have a family here. I'm alone again this Christmas. My grandmother, grandfather, nieces, brothers and mother are all on the other side of the country. Why? I know why but I keep asking myself regardless, reminding myself that I don't have a functioning family module and that it was my choice to be alone. I ran as fast and as far as my tax return would carry me knowing it would mean being lost in a state where I mean next to nothing.
I knew it would mean a lot of lonely birthdays, Easter holidays and Christmas days. That was the sacrifice I was willing to make for safety and piece of mind. Still, I can't help but be a little envious of others.
There has to be a way to overcome this.
I don't mean another pill I can take or pouring my heart out to my psychologist again. I mean there has to be a non-traditional option to the Christmas festivities. Some way to make my own traditions without interrupting everyone else's. I just have to think.
And drink tea.
Lots of tea.
